Problems (Part 2)

My friend gave me her chapters of life in moving on.

"Chapter 1 :

First love, its like a drug for me. Addicted to it so much that I've gotten to the point where he hurts me over and over I can simply say it's okay, I love you. Everytime he breaks my heart, it feels as it is better to mend it by himself than other people. All I need is him, him and him. Everytime I've been through something hard or something that makes me fly high on the cloud nine, the first person I want to share my ups and downs is him. Everytime I hear his voice, or look into his eyes I grow butterflies in my stomach and it feels as my heart going to pump so hard tat it gonna burst all my vessels. First love, its funny how I think my first love will last forever. Because I love him so much, I just cannot describe how much, maybe as deep as the Indian ocean? As much as Romeo loves Juliet? Or maybe I love him more than anyone else in this world. Love seriously kills all my senses."

I must say, she is really good in making quotes and her English is amazing.

It has 7 chapters in total.

Can you see how hurt she is?

You gave her hope bro.

Although you're my friend, but still, what you did to her is still unacceptable.

Hope you can read this ( sorry it is small)

I found this randomly on Twitter.

"Chapter 2 :

Day by day pass and I can't describe how I was feeling. Nothing feels great than love and love by someone that means the whole world to you. The way he loves you, its like you and him are the only one who exist in this universe. Whenever people talk about him, you'll feel the electric tension and there your goofy smile goes. Sometimes in class, when there is free time or even in the middle of class, you'll somehow think of him and all the sweet things you both share. When you bumped into him at the walkway, all that plays in your mind is, 'omg should I run away or smile or just ignore him my god help me' butterflies come back again~ The way he smiles at you when you talked to each other, you can see the happiness in his eyes that you whisper to yourself 'oh lord I love him so much, please make this last forever"

I feel you girl.

I can feel what you felt.

The way he smirks at me, the way he talks to me.

I just can't look at his eyes.

But then, he's with another girl (who is way prettier and smarter)

"Chapter 3 : 

When he jokes with you, no matter how lame it is. Only you would laugh, laugh which filled with happiness. You'll remember every single joke he makes and smile everytime they crossed your mind.

His flaws no matter how big and obvious it is, I dont care, I still love him. I love his eyes, every single part of him, I love it so much. When he gave present or surprise, it feels really exhilarating. That I kept what he gave even though it's a food. You just want to appreciate him for everything. And you're so worried about him in specifically every single thing no matter it's about his study, family or friends. You just want the best for him, everytime and anywhere."

"Chapter 4 :

This might sound cliche but every beautiful thing will comes to an end. It will end. Even us will end up buried down 7 feet underground. Everything will end eventually. When he started to change, acting mysteriously and keep hiding something from me. He started to throw thousands of lies and ignoring you all the time. But I'm too dumb to understand that he doesn't want me anymore. I keep on fighting every single thing that we share and fight for and I just can't believe that he's doing this. Where are our promises? Talk is cheap huh now I understand, The future that we planned. And I started to think is it real or just fake. Everything. Every single butterflies means nothing at all. YEs he bores of me because here I am this ancient af that he might knew someone new and better."

I know takde kaitan pun (eh tetibe)

"Chapter 5 :
After he's gone, he told that this is for my best but I just can't accept that fact. Every single words he say, the songs we shared, pictures, his voice they keep playing in my mind that tears will just cruise down my cheeks. The feeling of longing for him, it bruised up that at some point my heart hurts a lot that I'm running out of breathe by doing nothing but just cry. First love is like a drug, you just can't turn your back. Everytime people asked how is he doing, or say is name, I feel this kind of force that push me right to the bottom., drowning in a sea, he puts me there, Yet he doesn't have the intentions to save me and just watched me dying slowly. Sometimes I just crave for his presence, I just want to say eveything that is left unsaid."

"Chapter 6 :

The first two weeks is the worst period over, they're still there haunting you. The memories won't fade away. You feel lonely, all alone and sad. Extremely sad. Sometimes you'll text him hoping that everything will back to normal. There are times when I told my friends about him that my voice shooks a lot and I can't stop crying. There are days when I miss him  and pretended I was asleep, I listen to songs and cry alone late at night while he's doing just fine without me. He's fine without me. Yes he is. After all this time, he is fine. I started to have insomnia. I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about him. But slowly, after knowing he has someone else. I totally move on. I deleted him in all social media. He is no one to me anymore. it's funny how he meant so much to me back then, but now he is just a typical guy that I met on the streets.  I'll just bury all the memories of us together with my heart. I got it back from him. I finally can survive without me. Sometimes spontaneously he crossed my mind, but I feel nothing. It's hard when you talk with the same person and you've planned your future together but they ended up leaving you with some cheesy and old reasons. But I'm thankful."

I am thankful though.

"Chapter 7 :

Maybe I lost someone that is so important to me, it is a valid yet necessary feelings, it makes me more human. I started to see the world differently, the world that both me and him share, it's gone. That clingy feelings, it's gone. I believe that it hurts for sure, but beautiful things takes time to happen, a right person at the right time. Won't regret this. Cause it taught me plenty of lessons. Just remember the sun will shine tomorrow, and there will be a person that can make you see the sun when all this time you've only see the clouds. The right person that can make you smile to your cheek again. The feeling of falling into someone's arm, you feel much secure. The butterflies, and that person will love as much as me. A person that brings the light in the darkness for all this time. For now, stay focus to your goal . Forget all this silly things, make friends, crushes, nobody cares. Pray to Him. He knows the best for us. And someday, the pieces that breaks after he left you will disappear that it will only left as dust and harmless. You deserve better. You're the moon, the sun, the stars. He is just another flower. Just remember don't plant a wrong seed again. Somebody else will bring yourself back together again and that all the broken pieces will stick again. Never trust words unless it is proven. I'm afraid to love now, I feel nothing since he left. Just waiting for the right time but it will never be him anymore. I do feel lonely somehow that I crave for someone presence to love me. But only for a while because I'm so comfortable with my condition right now. Lonely. Alone. I just love it. 2 years is never easy for me, when I listen to some songs it feels like it just happened yesterday. Filled with the emotions again. But I'm doing fine, without him."

Action speaks louder than words.

Stop going for someone who doesn't worth your time.

If he can't make you laugh, if he doesn't treat you right, leave him.

Why would you jealous although you still not sure if he's meant to be with you?

Why would you still put hopes on him?

Why would you choose her over me?

Will she give you happiness?

Will your parents give bless to you guys?

Will she be a good wife to you?

Will she accept your religion?

Will she accept you for who you are?

Will she accept your family?

Will her family accept your family?

Love means nothing if your parents doesn't bless it.

Because Allah's bless are parent's bless.

Think about it.