Weak

I promised not to cry.

But I did.

I was too weak.

I've been waiting for years and finally the truth comes out from your mouth.

Thank you.

I didn't know why I suddenly asked you the questions.

I feel that it was the right time to ask you.

I asked you what mistakes that I did?

I was too curious.

I dreamt about you last night.

Saying that you're going to be the love of my life.

I know it doesn't make any sense, but I dreamt about you.

I hope what I was dreaming did not come true because I had enough.

The conversations that we had.

How can I remember to forget?

When my heart just won't let me.

I thought we had something.

I wish I could hate you,

So that I can let you go.

Wish I never met, the one I want the most.

I could fill an ocean,

with all the tears that I cried.

Tell me you were joking, just a dream I had last night.

How can I remember to forget?

Like we never happened, make my heart a break.

I need to ask you because I don't want ended up being old and wondering by myself.
If our conversations two years ago meant something to you.
You said yes.
I knew it.
I was never wrong.
I felt the same too.

But what did the mistakes that I did?
It is basically I did tell my friends that we had conversations.
But is it wrong?
I need to share to my friends because I'm tired of keeping this alone.
I felt I was going to explode.
That is why I told my friends.
Please understand.
You only know your problems but you never asked for my problems.
Which is sad.

Now I know the feelings.
Never be in a relationship but I was treated like a princess.
I guess it was mistake.
I shouldn't give hopes to you and neither do you.

"If I read our conversations 2 years ago, I feel like crying"
I said that.
You felt really guilty about it.
Really?
Or you're just trying to escape from everything that you did to me?

When you told me everything,
I did not feel upset, but I felt happy because you finally told me eveything.
All I want is HONESTY.
Honesty is really important in relationships and you made it.
But it was too late.

You know, when I'm really in love, I only look at you.
I'll love you without any boundaries and I will not fall in different guys in the same time.
Only you.
But I got cheated.

"She came first"
That's your excuse?
So how about my feelings?
You think I'm just a cigarette that you can throw away after using it?

Feeling sorry but without an action is like, nothing.
It's useless.
Action speaks louder than words.

You said you didn't want to hurt my feelings,
so giving hope is not one of them?
Think.

I know I'm not perfect.
You basically told everyone that you're not really interested in my laugh.
I know it's loud, it's annoying.
But it is who I am.
That's my trademark that people will remember until the last of my breath.
But you seems not to appreciate it.

You said you didn't realise what you were doing.
I just felt that it's an another lame excuse.

What if I did the same thing to you?
What will you feel?
Instead of pleasing eveyone, at least, please consider about what I'm going to feel about it.

I guess I was weak to believe in eveything what you said.
My best friend said
"What a sad excuse of a dick"
"He's playing you"
From the beginning.
And they were right.
I was pretending everything was going to be okay
But it turns out like this.

I was wrong.
I'm weak.
I'm vulnerable.
But in the end, although you said you still had feelings for me,
I felt nothing.
You were too late for that.

P/S : Thank you to all my friends to give me positive comments about my blogs.
Everyone seems to love it.
Thanks for the support and I will sure to write more in the future although my posts are mostly about serious stuffs :D